March 6, 2005
memories... @ 19:26
memories are foreva...they cant b erased...even if ur brain cells died and u gt a memory lost...
even when tt happen,u wil stil feel tt smthg's missing...lost...and u wil look for it....
let me tel u a story...
Jera stared at the photo taken jus 4 mths ago...the memory of him is stil fresh in her mind...waiting to unload itself every morning as she awakes,every second as she recalls the past,whichhad kept her running in the race called,"Life"
She told me tt this was her first....
"why am i being born on this eath for?"she ask herself very often but how can she find the answer?"are gd study results the aim of my life?Wealth?or isit love?why can't i eva get thgs rite?he was there for me when i needed a shoulder to cry on,he was there when the lightening strike loudly in the rain...he was there for me all the time but do i notice?i've always been wanting to hav a person to like...to show my love to but do i notice he's there,wating for me to realise tt im the one tt he cares for...?"i dun...
she carried on....
i carried on my daily life even when my 'Mr Right' was rite beside me,to take me thru each and everyday.....i was slow to realise,slow to make my move and oso slow to say "im sori"
this was the photo tt would b the onli memory,onli evidence tt we had lived thru this moment...
i would stil remember the first day we met.......
we were on our way back frm Genting....a simple coincedence to b in the same bus...or was it fate?
we met up,went to each other's house after taking up the courade to talk and introduce ourselves...but was it the wrong thg to do?it led to such misery not and i reali regretted....i wuld hav run away....i shuld hav avoided,far enough to prevent it frm happening....but i didn.....he's frm brunei...and onli4 wks after knowing each other,it was time for him to leave....
he met up with me 2 days b4 he left and gave me a necklace....he said:"wil u b my gf?"i stuttered to ans but he continued,"dun ans me now...send us off on wednesday,afternn,12 pm sharp...dun b late..and if u decide to accept me,wear this necklace i gav u,if not,dun wear it....we may b living in 2 diff worlds,far apart frm each other,but i can afford to visit u every vacation and call u at nite....Remember to come...."Then he took out a pen and wrote 'i like u' on his palm...
I went home feelin so happy...I was over the moon!!!i hymed and sang as i walked home tt nite,kept holding the necklace....i took it out onli when i had to bath...and placed it under my pillow at nite....
Wednesday came and i was getting ready to get a present for him.As i left to c him off,i called his home once but no one answered.i look at my watch and it's onli 10Am...sp o decoded to go their house to c him....
i skipped happily but when i reached their house,no one answered when i pressed the doorbell!!
i started to get anxious...i look at my watc again and it was and is 10 Am!!!Oh no!!!My watch has stopped operating....i dashed to the custom with my handphone in my hand.it's already 11.45am when i reached woodlands Mrt station.I took a cab there but there was a traffic jam!!!
i came out of it and ran all the way...
suddenly,i tripped and fell...
My knee hit the floor and i bled but hu cares?!!
i onli noe tt if i miss this,it'll b over...
and i gt there jus 5mins late...but saw them on time but he looked sad.Howeva,some1 passed me a letter frm him...it says:I', reali glad u came..."i wiped the sweat off my neck and there was smthg amiss!!!
the necklace's not there!!!
i started to panic and soon sobbed sorrowfully and understood....
He mus hav thought tt i hav decided to reject him...tt's y he looked so sad....
The necklace mus hav dropped when i fell...
i looked at the photo and kept it in my wallet....Everytime i open it up,i'll c his face,smiling rite at me..
(Jera said):"And i Noe,tt as long as he's happy after he has found a new gf,better prettier or more gentle than me,as long as he's happy,i'll b happy for him.
And i noe she wun b able to forget him...but i noe she'll learn to smile........