December 1, 2006
i feel v sick...like im dyin..i tink im emotionally unconcious.. @ 13:54
hi..i tink no matter wad i do,i juz cant get over him..
for him,i wud do anythg to help make it beta..
believe me..anythg...
it's been like wad u sae a million yrs..since i last chatted with him on the phone.
it's been a hartaching time..reali sad for the both of us..i tink..coz at least i noe it is,for me..
i feel like it'z been dreaded long enuf..but now,nthg reali seem to matter..
like all the pain has already sunk deep within me..makin me paralysed..juz lyin ther..unconcious...
it all seems like wad ppl sae..time frozen...
FINALLY time has stopped..but why?i feel so unconcious.each and every of my breathe was like leaking gas..fatal,and soon,i will cease to exist..Lyk a spoilt stopwatch which has stopped at the time when it died off,my brain has stopped working,onli concious abt the hurt and sadness of that moment.
LEAVING me unconcious,having halted at that moment..that point of time,i tink i am going crazy.so much of it coming all at me..so tormenting.
i tink im addicted to IT.addicted to the torment..addicted to the pain,the cruelty of wad reality cud pierce me with......
i feel so sick..so breatheless till i tink im ceasing to exist...juz spark up sm friction...
and then this emotionally unconciousness of my addiction to torments will send me burning into ashes..
[[___im.now.emotionally.unconcious.but.soon.i.tink.i.will.turn.into.ashes___]]