January 2, 2007
am i changing? @ 13:48
i duno since when..mayb since todae..
the ppl around me seems to b drifting further awae..
difficultier for me to reach out to them...
the nites i use to hav ppl to talk me to slp..
itz all gone...
i want the life i use to hav!
i wan the ppl around me..like before..
i wan my phone to kip ringing..
i wan to hear ppl sae..u're the best thg i've eva known..
but wad do i noe?
i've let the best guy slip thru my fingers..
a guy once told me this when i rejected him:
"ther are 2 kinds of gal.."
"one is a kind wherby they choose the guy they want,and go for it.."
"the other is a kind wherby they hav no choice.."
this saying is unfair for the guys who seem to b in the second range..
mayb the gal's juz immature...
my ex use to tel me this aftr we stop quarellin:
"one dae u wil understand"
"so for now,lets juz cherish everydae.."
now,aftr i've lost him..everydae seems like..
a living by the pond..
staring blankly at the surface of the water as time passes..
a living being>itz of no importance hu it is..nobody kares..
staring blankly>lost
im starting to wonder..
am i feelin lost?
im starting to feel..
like as if therz a change..
taking place on the inside of me...
the way i feel now,is wae more empty then before..
the way i spend my daes now,are wae more nthg other than mere studying or slacking..
the way i see it now,is tt mayb...juz mayb..
im changing..
itz uncomfortable coz i dun like it..i stil wana b tt childish gal hu wil alwaes b able to find a guy listening to her grumble stuffs she's unhappy abt..talk to her til she sleeptalks and falls aslp..and yet,finds her interesting..
itz saddening coz i stil cant accept it...i wana hav my bf bac..i wan those times wher i cud b happy in his arms..those times wher he kares abt me,ans everythg i ask..hugs me....i miss him.....i miss the happiness..
and itz definitely hard for me coz im not feelin like as if im stil hu i used to be..i've gt so much to sae..but i tink im gona stop here..craps are meant to be kept to ourselves..SEE!!ttz wad i mean..i wana sae..i wana crap..like before..but now everythg juz seems like..
i dun feel like saying it anymore...
first dae first question first problem