H E A R T B R O K E N
i went on visiting today,and bf kept promising me that by evening,
he would come and find me,then go watch movie with me..
unfortunately,it was all bullshit..
he did none of it the whole day..
i had to keep calling him,hurrying him to meet me..
but he did not..
he didn't even bothered to bring up to his parents..
he said he had to send and fetch them,and that no1 else cud do tt..
about his father,he told me that his dad said he didn't want to drive..
so in the end,i waited from morning til noon arnd 12,
waiting for him to wake up,waiting for him to meet up..
and then waited till 3plus,and then 6plus..
and even till 10pm,each time i call him,he just cudn wait to hang up..
and i asked him "what are you doing?"
playing cards and watching tv..
i was like.."so wonderful huh?i bet ther're also girls arnd rite?"
"you gamble til you happy ar!"
and i hung up..
waited for awhile but still no calls..
so i called him back..
*laugh*
im seriously stupidly angry..
guess what i said?
"you don't even bother to call back right?"
"then don't regret.."(arghh..wadeva la..)
"i won't be talking to you till i feel like it.." (wadeva la..do wadeva you wan la..)
and we just stopped talking..
well,there were afew things on my mind..
first is,im pretty sure that what he expects of me is not what i am willing to give..
second,i don't think i'll be able to get a decent bf even if im single..
third,i don't kare abt being attached or single anymore..
can you believe that?
i actually give up!!?!!
fark..
screw him..
i swear i hate him doing this to me..
you know,i still remember the times i cried..
just because he didn't wanted to answer my phone calls..
off the phone just because he didn't felt like talking..
and many other stuff like hanging up on me when he buay song..
so..
i was thinking..
and i actually can't believ how hard i cried for a person like that..
how pathetically my head would ache after crying for several hours..
how my heart ached for him to just answer the phone..
and all seems gone right now..
none of this seems..
right...
i actually have a cousin who got 18 for l1r4,and is abc luking..
this is one of the things i mean by decent lor..
like..able to have an average and above de intelligence,
so that it'll help in planning and being prepared for the future?
and i actually have this half-cousin (mum's bf's bro's son)..
who's studying in SIM,same age as my bf,
capable of saving money and not spending unnecessarily,
and being able to NOT GAMBLE,
even when he knows all the gamble-able games,and is superb at it!!!
and the prob is,of all the things that this pathetic bf can't do,
of WHAT did i choose to be with him?
i constantly blame myself for being foolish enough to waste my time on him..
or even,my youth..
and i asked my mum a question i have nvr imagined myself asking..
"mum,would you blame me for brking up with Jerry?"
like..im so hurt ar!!
you fucking hell put GAMBLING above me!!
fucking hell IGNORE me!!
when you fucking hell DON'T SAVE MONEY!!
DON'T HAVE PRIOR KNOWLEDGE ON PLANNING FOR YOUR FUTURE!!
DON'T HAVE ANYTHING!!!
YET YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE NOTHING!!
this is really crappy i tell you..
i feel so shitty that i dun even want to see him anymore!!
he dusn know how to change,neither why!!
tel me,what kinda of gals would fall for this kinda guy???