April 16, 2009
@ 15:42
[[smthg smthg smthg]]
sometimes i feel reali suffocated you know..
having nobody to go out with when i feel like going out..
having nobody to chat with when i needed another heart..
hearing from people how much fun they have had for the day..
but nothing from myself..
all's not as bad as..
seeing pictures taken by big groups of people..
people i know taking with people i know,
but im not in it..
well,guess right now i understand very much that im not very well liked..
i find that kinda frustrating..
people i hate have friends..
people i avoid have friends..
people i envy have even more friends..
people i admire have friends too..
people whom i know,and are quite quiet,have plenty of friends too!
why isit that it seems like im the only one without any??
dictionary.com's definition:
Friend = a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter
Friend = a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
well,what can i say??
i remember someone saying this to me..
"...NO WONDER YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS!!"
and i went..
"YAYA!! WELL I DON'T NEED ANY EITHER!!"
guess i should feel great knowing that i myself am so sure..
that i don't need any friends,and i was somehow drowning myself..
and i do remember on the last day of year 1 semester 2..
i gave things the way i never did,
i felt like crying for a reason i never had.
and i said..
"i did this because you guys made me felt what being friends with others feels like,and that it is something that i've never experienced before.."
though we're all busy with our own stuff each and everyday,
and every once in a while im afraid to talk to someone,
i do remember how that felt..
knowing that your friends would be there no matter what.
yes or no,i still feel like crying..