May 26, 2009
@ 17:23
lesson ended late today
and everyone was really tired
though my brain was already shut from all the studying
i can't stop thinking about him
i so hate myself for not being able to stop thinking about him
he was just right beside me
and that made me felt like each and every second
i was trying to grasp hold of myself
simply because there was a very strong urge in me
to want to get closer to him
well,all these are just my imagination
there are no evidences that he feels this way
and definitely,he doesn't have to feel this way
i have to retreat to my shell
i have to tell myself to stop thinking about all these
simply because these beings won't feel the same about me
they never will
and never would i in my life
be able to have such kind of boyfriend
so i should stop missing or thinking about him
and start concluding how each of his actions
are actually just acts of entertainment to push me away
so i'll feel hurtful enough
to stop thinking about him
such pain i have to inflict onto myself
is necessary