June 26, 2009
@ 16:16
am i me?
i had a disagreement with my dad ytd,
threatened him with the consequences..
i don't know for what i did that,
why was i yearning for my father to be a lil more attentive to me..
so...
guess what happened??
as usual..
nothing.
not a single second of sincerity.
and his angel was sent trying to talk me out of that that day..
his GF was trying to convince me how good my father treats me,
how grave the matter would be if i really called up HDB..
or just BEAT UP SOMEONE in the house..
most likely his gf...
i couldn't bother.
it was all in my mind..
i was wondering..
why did he not care about me?
why did she(my mum) not care about me too??
why isit that they don't bother to fulfill their duty more rather than just being the worse parents ever??
why can't they just do what they have to do??
why don't they even bother if i'm happy or not??
i couldn't stop asking questions..
questions which i know nothing about..
things which i feel fucking helpless with..
i know nothing..
i know nothing about what parents have to do!!
i know nothing about what parents could be like!!
i know nothing about what kinship is about!!
i can't tell if a family is supposed to be happy or not!!
just that kids have to fight for their rights,
it's either them or their parents!!
and yes,i felt screwed up..
his angel was trying so hard to talk me through..
to not call the hdb for any reasons..
but i'm just through..
i don't even know what to reply..
and this morning,she got it..
SHE said..
"i really don't understand you.."
"sometimes you're so carefree and happy~"
"but sometimes you're just so not outgoing and bottles up everything.."
yes..i agree~
"sometimes you even have to refer to a dictionary to know what kinship is.."
true to the max!!
man..
does it really take one stranger after another to keep telling me that i'm so not myself anymore??
i know that..right??
but why am i still so??
you sweared you'll take care for me..