July 9, 2009
@ 17:54
emotional.
i feel like a failure.
why?
because my dad ran away,
because my of some people around me..
because my second analog test makes me feel like an idiot,
because none of the formulas are going into my head no matter what..
and because something's missing..
brought down by the wretched nature of emotions,
crushed by the realism of loneliness..
living in the moments i feared and hated most..
cruelty of repetition,running on the same longitude..
many many things on my mind.
[1__still not used to singlehood.]
apparently i need to figure out what's on my mind..
[2__my dad went to "take care" of his "friend's" house.]
obviously my dad went somewhere..
he's been not-at-home since this tuesday.
didn't call,didn't leave a msg,
just my pocket money.
so his monkey just went sleepless,
thinking about him everynight,
knowing only the fact that he is with a girl,
he hates her for touching his phone when he didn't know,
and nothing else besides that.
i would never understand what the heck he thinks he is.
why does he act like he cares about this house,
yet leave everything behind just to spend some quality with sm1 else?
he's such a jerk for everything he's ever done...
which one of you readers have such a father??
or believe such a person exists??
[3__tests makes me sick,for the first time.]
i don't understand how crappy things can get,
whenever exams gets around the corner..
while i was having my second understanding test(UT),
i realise that my modules have so many formulas..
that we have to remember and know how to use!!
WHAT THE HECK?!
[4__and the people around me.]
i'm so pissed with myself for being such an idiot you know??
i'm lousy at calculations,i suck at science,
i can't do programming..
i don't understand circuits..
what the hell am i doing?!
and yet,to make things worse,
i'm just simply invisible in class..
damn..i'm so tired now..