July 12, 2009
@ 23:59
twosongs onedream andaplace.
i heard my classmate sang a song..
If God had a name what would it be?
And would you call it to his face?
If you were faced with Him in all His glory
What would you ask if you had just one question?
-joan osborne,one of us.
my reaction to that song was..
ok..
but as i was about to step out of the class for home,
i turned back and asked..
"what's that song's name?"
and for the following days,
i was repeating that song on my list.
i was searching for new songs when i heard this song.
If I talk to God
I don't know if He's listening
When I speak out loud
I don't know if He's home
I'm talking to myself
'Cause no one else is listening
Stay another day
And will it all go wrong?
If I talk to God
-the last goodnight,if i talk to God.
i had a dream one night.
in the dream,i was entering a church.
there were many people,and the place was very big.
it's structure was very much like a slopped cinema,
except there were stairs linking the seats together.
when i first entered and the worshipping session started,
a familiar friend and i took the lead,
and led everyone to dance around.
it did seem kind of messy and dangerous,
but we were all happy,very happy.
at one point of time,the pastor said.
it's ok if you want to dance around,
but let's pray to God first.
that dream ended there..
and i woke up,somehow,in tears,tears of joy..
i remembered a conversation i had with a friend..
and one thing my friend kept telling me was..
no matter what you did,what flaws you have,
God will always love you..
it took me to a decision which i didn't see myself settling for..
and it was to go to the church,
for that one sermon.
it was a saturday night when i made up my mind,
everything was just crumbling down on me..
and all of a sudden,as i was trying to find a way out of all these,
i realize it.
i'm going to new creation church tomorrow morning.
i went to church that morning and i kept telling myself,
and sort of prayed to God..
God,if these are really signs to me..
pls show me some signs from the sermon..
i use to tell myself i'm too bad too be good..
i use to think that nothing would be able to help,
because i was tempted to lead astray,
and too unwilling to leave those strayed ways..
i was feeling too inferior of myself,
thinking that i do not deserve such love..
but that morning,from the moment i heard what was spoken,
tear just kept flowing out of my eyes,
and i was unable to control any of them..
the only thing in my mind was..
such grace..
God's grace..
was just so overwhelming..
the Pastor shared alot of stories..
the story about the children in china,
the story of the 15year-old girl who slept with more than 17men,
the story about the values of the child imparted from their parents..
the stories about God's perspective before he created Adam..
and many many more!!
it's not fairytales..
or lies to bluff the people around,
but true stories,real incidents which did happen before..
to me,it's just like God sending a message through Pastor Mark.