September 30, 2009
@ 21:13
Thank that father once.
For the very first time, I, in sober state, want to thank my father, for the very first time… I felt enlightened.
I was overwhelmed by the fact that I met up with someone who later was kinda reluctant to contact me. We went for movies, walked around the mall and chatted, looked at those people in the arcade…never had I, in a very long time, went out with someone I actually liked.
We bickered because I was too quiet, shivered because it was really cold… and that was it.
This is not a fairytale, I’m not a princess.
Till yesterday, I was devastated and I asked Father, “How did you get those chicks from Japan, Taiwan and all over the world? How did you get their interests? Why do guys always go for looks?”
Well, obviously I got carried away… Father told me this, “Guys are born to like girls like LiYun. They don’t fall for people like you. You have to be the other category, the capable, the admired or respected, the character, not the beauty.”
I felt unfair. So I asked, “I’m not that bad looking am I? it’s not like as if I’m 90 over or 100 over kg what… like sis…”
And he replied, “eh, your sis might have more suitors than you in future you know? At least she doesn’t look fierce…” (I was like…what the hell?!)
Can’t believe I lost when compared to my sis. I felt like crap… merde. I tried rebutting but my dad went on telling me how those women got so interested in him… “because human, by nature, are curious…”, “because you know what they like…”
This piece of harsh truth I received, hit me like a meteorite and I was brooding over it the whole day. Why do I always get rejected calls and unreplied smses? Why do I always fail when it comes to the “looks” kinda date?
I’m just devastated. Who wouldn’t want someone who could watch movies with you, go out without having to be discreet or feel disgraced about being with you, like and love you the way you are, and would want to keep pampering you and be with you forever?
Who doesn’t long for someone to hold, who knows how to love you without being told?Somebody tell me, why I’m on my own… if there’s a soulmate for everyone?