November 12, 2009
@ 20:06
i want my piano back..
i want my time back..
i want my smile back..
i want my happiness back..
mum kept askin me to go back her side if i am not happy at my dad's..
i feel kinda ironic and worried..
im on quite good terms with my mum now and i don't want to lose it again you know?
it's like..since young till now,my 18years of duration,going 19,
on this planet called earth,i've been miserably tortured psychologically by the dead relationship,
and now,it finally revived..
18years plus plus..over abt 1year of solitude..
it's finally the way i want it,why now?
i'm afraid to lose my freedom cuz th man duzn care abt me,
neither will i let him,but he is just far too pathetic.
aint fit to be my dad no more..lost my last bit of hope in him alrdy..
i wish i could eat my mum's dishes everyday,
hear her talk to me and listen to how she'd try enlightening me..
i wish i could be there by my sis's side all the time..
to listen to her encounters in each and every single day..
i hope my sis slims down and finds somebody nice..
maybe the latter first but i just hope she'd be much happier..
and healthier..
i don't want to keep quarrelling with my dad..
he sucks..seriously..
letting his gf's daughter have the room to herself,
while i share the room with him and his gf,
not to mention my bed's the mattress when him,his gf and the kid sleeps on bed..
all i'm askin for is to be able to keep my guinea pig..
don't touch my piano..
i'd be grateful if you could just fuckin leave me alone,
let me do my stuff and i promise,i'll leave you once i'm legally 21.
no joke,no kid,serious oath.
it's partly his fault that my soldering ut was a disaster..
other than that was myself.
my mum kept asking me to go back..
my dad keeps finding new things to aggitate me..
skol's not that good either..
been experiencing something..
don't feel like bothering to think of a word for it..
sick of everything..i just want to get over and done with it..
im trying my best to put the things i wana do in order,
trying to make sure i can be slightly more efficient,
and hopefully,i'll be able to get into business line..
i just want to do what i feel would fulfill my life most,
give my life the meaning most,and excel in it ok?
being single aint easy..for me,
it's just like living in the days of cancer,
feeling hopeless and worried,waiting for death in the mist of my numbered days..
only having a deteriorating body to go to grave with me,
no lover or admirer..
i find it really hard to survive till my final breadth..
sauve-moi