January 3, 2010
@ 14:30
homey-girl.i've been staying at home alot recently.not very sure what i was doing,but at least i know i wasn't drinking,wasn't spending alot of money,and i was kinda alone..on the inside.
the cancelled-planned-bbq.i actually decided to hold a bbq at fushan area as a advance birthday celebration.however,J's uncle died,and so he couldn't meet me or help me with it.and on top of that,i was really pissed by him dragging my shopping time from 5+ to 7+ and then after that,having to leave me alone at Jurong Point cuz of the fucking funeral shit.
and sometimes i really agree.if you have not trip and fall and hurt yourself before,you would not know what it feels like.just the same as losing your relative,or someone important to yourself,you would not know how it feels like until you have encountered it.i've watch father living with us,but being not at home most of the time.i've watched him flirt with his friends.and i've grown up and felt the same before,but never have i wacked my other half the way he did.and i know,we all know,you would not do so if you truly love them.you would not hurt them if you love them,not even disappointing them.i've long acknowledge the fact that i've lost my father to them,not one but many other women.his heart does not belong with us.but because i did not taste the sweetness of reunion before losing them,i do not feel as hurt as he feels..i guess.
she just can't wait.that woman's elder sister's daughter moved back the moment father agreed to give me $400 instead of $240 every month,so as to get me out of the house.and before i could finish moving all my things back to my mother's,she had already set up another set of double decker at the corner which i use to occupy.it's fuckin no joke.how quick everything happened..how determined they were to have him..